the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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