she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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