i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
