I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
