Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
