I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
