he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
