ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
