hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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