dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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