'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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