On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm really busy with my period
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