Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
