Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
