We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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