Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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