Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
