Having a random hookup so left but love u
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
