Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I smell like Dick and happiness
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