He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
