elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
