you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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