I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
