Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
