you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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