pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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