Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
