He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
