Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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