I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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