I need help removing her.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
