is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
