If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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