BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
