no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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