and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
