Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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