I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
