Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
