it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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