That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And the cops told us we were all naked.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
