he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
