thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
