ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
