You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Where is the hickey?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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