Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
