I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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