how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So much rum. So many feels.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
