Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
