she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
