I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
