I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
