he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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