what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
