You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
