I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
