I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
