are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
